This is a class where I already have some background, as I have been a manager in my current company for the last six years. I currently have a team of 6 people working for me, and in the past I have had as many as 10 direct reports. However it is important to not confuse management with leadership. Management is having direct authority over people, and being responsible for budgets, projects, and time lines. However everyone has known people who are good at managing these things and no good at leading people. Likewise there are many influential leaders who have no formal authority. The best managers are the ones who recognize both the formal and informal aspects of leadership, so they can take care of their people as well as the details of projects.
Since I have been in a managers role, I have had to work on many aspects of my own leadership style. One of the biggest challenges I have had is having the Difficult Conversation. This is when someone is not performing well, and you have to tell them that their performance needs to change or else there will be consequences. Too often those conversation start with "You know what you do wrong?" and go downhill from there. One of the best suggestions I have heard for this is from Len Leritz, who wrote "No Fault Negotiating." He suggested that you always have the conversation using the first person. After all, you are the individual who has made the observations and who is asking for the change. He then suggests that you use the following statements:
I See..... - State the facts about what you have observed, where has the performance been sub-optimal. No emotions at this point!
I Think..... - This is where you state why you think the behavior is occurring. You have probably made some assumptions about the employee. Make sure to state them and see if they are correct. You could very well be wrong.
I Feel..... - Since all conversations have some emotional subtext, this is the place to state it. Does the performance make you frustrated, irritated, embarrassed? State it here.
I Want..... - This is the part of the conversation where you describe your desired outcome. Give the person a picture of the future.
I Need..... - This is the meat of the conversation. This is where you tell the person the new behavior that you need to see, as well as the consequences if it does not change. The key here is to set some measurable goals for the person, and to provide the help they need to reach them. This has to come last, and if you have set the context with the previous statements, this should not be too difficult.
Hopefully some others will find some value in this approach, I know I have.
I appreciate your viewpoint about both management and leadership. I like your approach that you use when asking individuals to make changes. I find that this similar approach works well in education. However, I also find in valuable to inform students that they are the one that is making the choices and that there are always consequences for all of our choices. Have you ever had to use this approach?
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